I’m just asking the question. I am offering no conclusions. But we need to approach these things with open minds. That is all I’m doing. I have no bias, as I am both happily married and a satisfied dog owner. I have split my time almost evenly: living 35 years with my wife and 38 years with four different dogs.
Today, I have both a wife and a dog. And I take them both for a walk two times a day. Beth is the best wife anyone ever had and Heidi is the best dog. It’s not even close – on either count.
But again, we must ask the question. Which is better – a wife or a dog?
Because wives can speak for themselves, I will present the case that dogs would make if they were able to type or use a computer. This is the evidence dogs everywhere would want us to see.
Why dogs are better than wives . . .
- Dogs never criticize.
- Dogs don’t expect gifts.
- Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you’ve ever had.
- Dogs don’t hate their own bodies.
- Dogs don’t let a magazine article guide their lives.
- You never have to wait on a dog; they are ready to jump in the car 24 hours a day.
- Dogs don’t cry.
- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
- A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late; the later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
- Anyone can get a good looking dog.
- Dogs don’t mind if you give away their offspring.
- Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
I’ll add one more – on a personal note. At this very moment, as I am working on my computer, my dog is in my lap. My wife? She is over 1,000 miles away, visiting friends.
My dog would never do that to me.